Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
