Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
