He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
