idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
