Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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