i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
