i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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