I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
