Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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