i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
