the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
