Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
