Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
