It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
