i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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