I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
