Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
