Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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