i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
