I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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