i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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