woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize