There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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