she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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