drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
