OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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