Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
