So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
