Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
