This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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