I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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