something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Couch. On fire.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
