i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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