he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
