u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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