Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
