Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
