Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
