cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We got so high we made milksteak
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
