she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
