sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
