Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
