Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
