i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
