I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
