She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
