My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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