My liver just broke up with me...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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