'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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