the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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