Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
