I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Randomize
