I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
