we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
