Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
