Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
