all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
