This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize