the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize