just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
