i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize