I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize